How to self-regulate during stress

How often do you realize that you are consumed by a reaction or cycle of thoughts, and you need to come back to your center? Are you aware that you have the choice to calm down or regulate your state? When we know how to self-regulate during stress, we give ourselves the gift of choosing a better way of feeling and being in our body.

In comparison, how do you respond to stress when you know how to self-regulate your state? How do you respond or react if you do not? Self-regulation helps you feel better and to show up connected to your true self and values in stressful situations. To self-regulate is an act of self-care.

Self-regulate through breath and touch

When you feel your emotions are taking over, your mind is rushing, and you feel stressed or overwhelmed, what you can do is show up for yourself, by going within. Take a conscious breath placing your hands on the belly, or your ribs, or chest – wherever you feel your breath moving. When you are able to regulate your stress response you can 

–       connect to yourself and your values

–       see solutions instead of fears

–       recognize other people’s stress responses

–       see the good intentions in others

–       communicate from a centered place

Returning to your body

Some refer to self-regulation as a means of self-control; controlling your reactive behaviour, or your emotions, or bypassing the triggers and beliefs you need to face. Others connect it to an intentional mindfulness practice. What I am referring to here is taking a moment to connect to your body, and fostering a conscious way of being with your soma, with your experience and sensations; returning to your body when you need to most. 

To self-regulate in stressful times is a means to show up for yourself, to foster a connection with your somatic being, and to stay present instead of catapulting into the worries of the future, or the traumas from the past. It is a way of holding yourself accountable and showing up as your best self, but most importantly showing up for yourself and having the skills to take care of yourself.

Self-regulation is self-care

When you recognize your different states, you have the ability to regulate and decide how you want to show up in stressful situations, for yourself and others.

The thoughts that we think are different when we are filled with tension or fear, than what they are when we feel at ease. When you are able to choose that you want to alter your worried state and bring yourself to your center, you have the opportunity to work with that feeling or energy of unease, and to turn it into a resourced state.

As you sense into your state and what your body is going through with that worry or tension, you become aware of what is present in your soma. Try and put that tension into movement instead of letting it stay stagnant in your body, express it, and put emotions into motion. As you move with what you sense is present you are letting your body expand. In your movement you are creating space for that reaction, which allows it to flow through you, and to be processed.

Movement to self-regulate

Self-regulation can be as simple as taking some deep breaths before giving a presentation or talk, connecting to your awareness of presence in your body. Self-regulating can also involve free form expression, meditative dance, or tapping energy points. These are all tools that I see work for me and for clients, and are easy to implement when you need to regulate your state in stressful moments.

When the body expands and has more space to breathe, there is space to process what it is experiencing, and can connect to the present. Now you have a wider window to view your situation from, giving you a different perspective; less scared or anxious and more open, receptive and calmer. This resource lets you calm down your nervous system, and connect to your center and your strengths. 

Connect to your heart space

Instead of analyzing how you are feeling or what you are experiencing, turn to your body, not for answers, but for connection. Quiet the mind by letting your body be louder. Listen to your body – what is it communicating to you through your sensations? If your breathing is shallow and your heart is racing, consciously connect to your heart, and allow it to have a few deep breaths only dedicated for its well being. Go within and go slow.

When you look at an issue you are going through only through the thinking mind, the solutions you can imagine are very limited. And those limiting thoughts limit how you are present in the body. Practicing connection opens up space in the body. With an embodiment practice you learn to access that connection easier, which lets you feel empowered, and allows you the ability to expand into an openminded and receptive state, creating more space for more creative thinking and fluidity. Creativity and solutions come from movement, spaciousness, and connecting to yourself; from setting stress and tension into movement. It all starts from taking a few deep breaths. Let me know what works for you? Do you connect to your heart through breathing and movement in stressful situations?